


There's a Wolf in My Heart

by river_soul



Series: You Are The Wilderness [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Breeding, F/M, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29252610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/river_soul/pseuds/river_soul
Summary: When you lose your virginity on a backpacking trip through Europe to an Alpha named James you never expect to see him again. James has other plans. He’s going to make the bond permanent, whether you want him to or not.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: You Are The Wilderness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2147952
Comments: 12
Kudos: 113





	There's a Wolf in My Heart

James’s bite mark fades three days after you return home, the skin of your mating gland smooth and unblemished once again. Before it faded you spent hours running your fingers over it, catching each of the ridges and dips his teeth left in your skin. It was soothing in a way, a fantasy you could dip into when strange Alphas stood too close or stared too long. You know it’s for the best when it fades because whatever you felt for James in the moment was a fantasy, a strange transference of emotions and hopes. 

Julia has already set up a dating profile for you and taken new photos to entice any potential dates. She made you take what felt like hundreds of photos, obsessing over everything from the lighting, your clothes, and how you smiled. As annoyed as you were, you had to admit she made you look stunning, far more attractive than you were in real life. Would those Alphas and Betas that swiped right on you be disappointed when you showed up?

You hoped not.

You had a lot to offer, you reminded yourself. A nice apartment, good friends, and a steady job that made your Alpha parents proud. But you longed for a mate and family. You wanted someone to make you feel as James had, cherished, and protected. An Alpha you could submit to. It was exhausting sometimes, the push to be as independent as a Beta and as confident as an Alpha.

You just wanted to be you.

\--

Evan, the first man you go on a date with after returning home is a tall Alpha with short blonde hair and kind blue eyes. He shows up to the date with fresh cut flowers and a sweet, hopeful smile that puts you at ease. His scent is sharp, the smell of ozone after rainfall with a hint of something woodsy that makes your hindbrain perk up. Everything about the date is perfect, from the restaurant where you have dinner to the mini-golf place he takes you to after. He’s considerate but confident and each time he settles his hand on your lower back to guide you along you feel a thrill of excitement and a pleasant sensation curl in your gut. By the time he walks you back to your apartment, you’re almost tempted to invite him in. 

“I had a lovely time,” he tells you with a smile. “I’d like to do this again.”

“Me too,” you say, pleased at the large smile he gives you in return.

“Can I?” he asks, surprising you by lifting your wrist towards his face. 

When you nod, shy but excited, he noses along your scent gland, his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin of your inner wrist. The action makes your stomach swoop with anticipation as you watch the way his eyes close as he inhales your scent. When he offers you his wrist you return the gesture, taking in his scent with a deep breath.

“See you in a few days Omega,” he promises.

\--

You don’t expect to hear from Evan immediately but when two days turn into four without a call or text from him the wave of disappointment you feel nearly crushes you. Your next few dates follow the same pattern. The Alphas and Betas you meet seem interested, sometimes even inviting you on a second date before the first is over, but none of them ever call. You're starting to feel discouraged, ignoring the new messages that come through your dating apps and avoiding Julia's offers to set you up on a blind date. 

Instead, you spend your evenings alone, curled up with a cup of tea and your favorite book. Sometimes Amanda comes over and you indulge in too much wine and cheese from Trader Joe’s while you watch Hallmark movies and commiserate about being single. On those nights, tipsy and a little emotional, you let yourself indulge in the soft black t-shirt you took from James. 

Even after several washes it still seems to hold his scent exceptionally well. You expected it to fade or get replaced with your own scent over time, but each night you press your nose to the fabric it’s just as strong. Almost as if you’d taken it fresh from his body all over again. You'd be embarrassed by the way you find yourself nuzzling it if anyone was watching, but you're alone in your apartment so you feel no shame as you let his potent scent ease away your anxieties. 

\--

Three weeks after giving up on online dating, Julia shows up at your apartment with Amanda in tow. 

She shoves a bottle of flavored vodka in your hand before pushing past you and making a beeline for your wardrobe. You watch, perplexed as she starts throwing clothes on the bed, muttering to herself. When you look to Amanda for help she just shrugs.

“She showed up at my apartment 30 minutes ago and told me we were going out.”

“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new,” Julia tells you breezily as she continues to empty out your closet. “Jesus, do you own anything other than sundresses and these boring work clothes? This looks like the closet for a republican congresswoman, not someone who is 25 years old.”

“I’m preparing for my eventual slide into spinsterhood,” you tell her blandly. 

She shoots you an unamused look before returning to your closet. 

“Let’s go do our makeup and hair,” Amanda advises, sensing a fight brewing.

“You better put everything back where it was Julia,” you yell as you let Amanda usher you into the bathroom. 

Ten minutes later, when you’re suffering through Amanda’s attempt to give you a smokey eye look, Julia pops her head into the bathroom. 

“Where’s that little lacy panty set I got you?” she asks. “Your laundry basket is mostly empty and they aren’t in your drawer.”

“You went through my laundry basket?” you ask, horrified. 

“Oh calm down, I am not some Alpha perv. I’m just trying to make sure you’re not wearing cotton granny panties if you find someone to go home with tonight.”

“I don’t know where they are, I must have put them in another drawer or left them at the laundromat,” you tell her with a frown. 

The last time you remember wearing them was for your date with Evan but that was nearly a month and half ago. 

“That shit is expensive,” Julia tells you, annoyed. “It was from Paris."

“Sorry, I'll look for them when I'm done,” you promise her.

"Uh- huh," Julia says, her expression pinched when you meet her gaze in the mirror. "Oh my god, Amanda. Stop. She looks like a raccoon. Go make us a drink or something and let me fix this."

Amanda huffs but you know she's relieved too. She hates makeup as much as you do and you both know it's easiest to let Julia fuss over you both than try to fight it. She was annoyingly good at this type of thing.

\--

Forty-five minutes later you find yourself in a dark corner of a bar, the deep thump of the bass resonating uncomfortably in your chest. If the music wasn’t bad enough the overwhelming mix of scents is. You pull at the too-short hem of the black dress Julia managed to find in the back of your closet. You let her primp and prod you until she deemed you satisfactory but you drew the line at the stilettos she insisted you wear. The last thing you needed was a broken ankle. 

You’ve barely been at the club an hour but you already want to go home. You’re contemplating slipping out and calling a cab when you catch the smell of campfire and pine, a familiar woodsy scent that has your head snapping up. _Alpha_ your hindbrain supplies unhelpfully. You scan the crowd, stepping away from the wall as you try to catch the scent again. You push between the mass of bodies, head tipped back as you search for the source but all you smell is sweat, pheromones, and the overlapping scents of too many people. 

This isn’t the first time you thought you smelled James. You seemed to catch his scent at random times in random places from the grocery store, to the gym, to your local coffee shop. Even once in your apartment despite the fact you knew his shirt was sealed in a plastic bag. Just like then, you know James isn’t really here. He couldn’t possibly be. You know it’s likely someone that smells like him or your mind playing tricks on you but each time your hindbrain is pathetic enough to chase after it. God, what kind of loser got attached to an Alpha they barely knew after one night?

You apparently. Julia was right, you needed to find someone else and get James out of your head. This isn’t a hallmark movie, you aren’t going to magically run into him and live happily ever after.

\--

You’re grabbing coffee with Amanda on a lazy Saturday morning, giggling your way through the story of her latest date when you see a familiar figure waiting in line for coffee. It’s Evan. He doesn’t see you, gaze focused on his phone. He looks awful, his nose bandaged and a thick white cast on his right arm. Amanda follows your gaze, shooting you a questioning look. You’re halfway through recounting how Evan ghosted you when he looks up, spotting you.

When your eyes meet you expect him to be embarrassed or maybe even pretend like he doesn’t recognize you but instead he freezes, eyes wide with fear. You blink, confused at his reaction but before you can say anything he bolts for the door, nearly running over an older couple trying to enter the cafe. 

“That’s weird,” you tell Amanda with a frown.

“Maybe he had a wife,” she offers with a shrug as she turns around to face you again. “Those fuckers are always on dating apps trying to get into the pants of unsuspecting omegas. You know there’s camouflaging cologne now? You can’t even tell if they’re mated. Super gross."

"Yeah," you agree, unconvinced. 

Evan didn't look like an Alpha caught in a lie. He looked terrified.

\--

You wake Wednesday morning feeling anxious, a strange sense of unease hanging over you as you go about your day. You can’t pinpoint the reason for your feelings or why you grow more irritated and snappy as the day wears on. It’s not until you step out of the shower later that night, nearly doubling over in pain at the deep ache that springs up between your thighs that you understand - you’re going into heat.

You haven’t had a real heat since you were 18 and started your suppressants. Breakthrough heats were rare and often worse. Panicked, you call Julia who promises to bring over an emergency heat supply kit filled with protein bars and specially formulated water for Omegas in heat. You decline her offer for toys, embarrassed and not entirely sure what to even ask for. Your last heat was seven years ago but you remember enough to know without an Alpha it’s going to be miserable either way and half out of your mind with desire isn’t an ideal time to experiment with things. 

The first night of your heat is worse than you expect, every sensation heightened to the point of near agony. Your clothes feel scratchy against your skin and not even a freezing cold shower is enough to cool off your body. You end up laying naked on your bed, your face pressed into James’s shirt as you imagine his knot swelling inside you and his teeth buried in your neck. You work yourself to orgasm humiliatingly fast at the memory but the relief that washes over your body fades almost as soon as it comes and you whine in frustration.

Most of the next day passes in a blur as you drift in and out of sleep, giving into the insatiable need when you can longer resist. Everything hurts and your body aches for something, someone to put you out of your misery. Your hands are never enough, not with your hindbrain crying out for a knot. The desperate whines that fall from your throat as you work your fingers inside yourself over and over again, seeking relief don't even sound like you. 

When the sun finally slips beneath the horizon, bathing your room in shadows you roll onto your back, panting and miserable as your hand falls away from your core. Closing your eyes you try to savor the brief reprieve and catch your breath. You don’t realize you’re not alone in your room until you feel a cool hand circle around your calf. Even then your first emotion isn’t fear but pitiful relief at the feel of it against your fevered skin, a moan escaping between your lips. It’s not until a gentle tug jolts your body forward that you look up to see a figure hovering at the edge of your bed. He’s half shadowed in the darkness of your room but the gleam from his metal arm is unmistakable.

It’s James.

He smells exactly as you remember from the hotel but there’s a sharper, more acidic undertone to it. He’s angry, you realize. That knowledge is enough to make you come back to yourself sharply as the fog of pain and desire falls away. You sit up, your movements uncoordinated and clumsy as you twist and try to crawl away. He’s on you before you can scream, his flesh hand curling over your mouth as his metal hand captures both your wrists. You realize he’s already half naked when you feel the warm skin of his chest slide against your own sweat-soaked flesh as he presses his body into yours. His jeans feel like sandpaper against the sensitive skin of your thighs.

“Shhh,” he soothes, nuzzling your jaw as you struggle beneath him.

Your hindbrain relishes the feel of his large body over yours, of the scent of a virile Alpha so close, but the more rational part of you is overcome with fear. You remember his sweetly spoken words of ownership, the promise to make you his in that hotel room all those months ago. You’d been too enraptured at the time to take them seriously but now, as you feel him grind himself into your core, you realize he meant every single word. 

“Been watching you, sweetheart. It hurt me to see you suffer,” he tells you as you fight against his hold. “I wanted to come last night, ease away your pain and make you mine but I had to wait. Had to make you see how much you needed me.”

"No," you cry when he removes his hand to kiss you, his tongue sweeping into your mouth to claim every inch of you. "I don't want this."

“Yes you do,” he soothes. “Heard you calling my name, begging for my knot. I’m gonna make you mine forever sweet girl.”

“Stop,” you beg. “Please don’t do this. Please,” you keen, tears streaming down your face. 

When James pulls away from you, releasing your wrist you feel a bubble of hope but he dashes it quickly with his next words.

“Present for me,” he says, voice low and commanding. 

When you don’t move he grabs a fistful of your hair, ignoring your shriek of pain as he drags you up the bed before flipping you on your stomach. You struggle to your knees, trying to crawl away but his other hand, wide and warm, settles between your shoulder blades and forces you forward. You fall, landing on your forearms as he moves behind you, sliding a thigh between your legs to open you up to him. He captures your wrists easily in one hand, holding them against the small of your back. The position forces you to crane your neck to the side to breathe, your cheek resting against the mattress.

“Beautiful,” he whispers.

You feel him draw two fingers through your swollen lips, pumping them inside you slowly. His fingers are thicker than your own but they’re not enough to give your body what it wants. A whine crawls up your throat before you can stop it as that deep ache returns to your cunt and fresh slick coats his digits. 

“See how badly your body wants me?” he asks, stroking your walls one more time before withdrawing. 

You can only moan in response, the soft _no_ that falls from your lips lost to the creak of the bed as he undresses behind you. Warmth settles along your back as he returns to you, draping his body over yours. When you feel the blunt head of cock against your entrance you jerk in his grip but it does nothing to stop him from sinking into you inch by inch until he’s seated fully inside you, his hips flush with your ass. You cry out, kicking your legs out in an attempt to get away but your struggles only seem to force him deeper inside you. Panting and exhausted it’s all you could do to lay there and take him as little sobs work their way out of your throat.

“Omega,” he groans, his warm breath washing over the back of your neck as he starts to move in and out of you slowly.

The feel of his cock dragging against your walls ignites that feverish cramp in your belly again. Soon you’re trying to draw him deeper inside you instead of pushing him away as a strange sort of haze settles over your mind. Everything feels so right. His cock eases that ache inside you and your toes curl as he hits that soft, sponge spot inside you that has you keening out. Your litany of _no’s_ turn into desperate pleas for _more more more_ as you move back against him. You feel mindless, overcome with the need for his knot and the relief you know it’ll bring.

“That’s it, sweetheart, give in,” he whispers. “Gonna fill your belly with my pups. Keep you from running ever again.”

“No,” you gasp but the denial sounds weak to your own ears as you feel his rhythm start to falter.

He snaps his hips into yours roughly, forcing his knot inside you just as it begins to swell. You feel it catch at the mouth of your cunt, pressing against your walls as sweet relief floods your body and your orgasm washes over you. For the first time in what feels like days your body is finally able to relax. You sob in relief at the sensation of utter fullness but that euphoria vanishes as quickly as it comes when you feel his teeth sink into your mating gland. 

You jerk forward in his grasp in a desperate attempt to escape him but your actions only make him bite down harder. His fingers flex against your hips painfully as you struggle, too wild with fear to feel how your skin tears in his mouth as he holds tightly onto your neck. He doesn’t release you until you stop struggling, your muscles exhausted from your heat and the bonding. 

“Sleep,” James commands and a strange lethargy sweeps through your body as you feel your eyelids grow heavy. 

The last thing you remember before you succumb to the darkness is the coppery scent of your own blood and the feel of his tongue soothing over his bite mark.

\--

You come back to yourself in pieces, pain radiating up your neck as a sharp twinge makes itself known between your thighs. You can feel your Alpha behind you, his legs tangled with yours. The sheets beneath you feel fresh and cool and when you touch your hair you realize it’s damp. Somewhere buried deep in your mind is a half-formed memory of a bath and the feel of James’s hands sweeping a washcloth over your sweaty skin.

A low growl fills the air when you shift experimentally in his arms.

“Omega,” James purrs, his voice thick with sleep as he draws you closer to his body. “Where are you going?”

“Please,” you whisper. “I-I need to pee.”

When James releases you, you slide across the bed and stumble to the bathroom on unsteady legs. You shut the door with a quiet click but the barrier provides little relief. You can feel the heavy weight of him inside your mind and feel how the bond that stretches between you has taken root. There is no escaping him now. 

You stifle a sob as you look up, catching sight of your naked body in the mirror. Bruises litter your skin but it’s the jagged flesh at your neck that your eyes are drawn to. It’s nothing like the smooth, well-formed bite he gave you before. You know it will scar over but it won’t be like the pretty bonding bites you see in magazines, silvery and delicate. There will be no hiding his claim, no mistaking that you belong to one another. 

\--

When you come out of the bathroom you’re surprised to find the bed empty. You can hear James moving around in your kitchen, the rich scent of coffee hitting your nose. You pick up your discarded robe from the floor and shrug it over your shoulders. It’s surreal to see him in your kitchen, moving around with such ease, pulling down plates and bowls like he’s done it a thousand times before. 

Suddenly it all makes sense. The way you always seemed to catch his scent everywhere, including your own apartment, and how all those men from your dates never called back. Fear laces through you, tight and hot, as you think about Evan. 

"Did you hurt Evan?" You ask before you can stop yourself. 

James turns to face you, a spatula in his hand. He regards you carefully and you can feel him in your mind, searching for something. 

"I did what I had to, to protect what is mine," he tells you simply. "The others understood after we spoke. Evan was stubborn."

You say nothing, breathing out unsteadily as he turns back around with a little hum. You watch the muscles of his back flex and move as he stirs something in the pan before your gaze darts to the front door. You’re close enough that it would only take a few steps to reach it and James is far enough away that you’d have a fighting chance. 

The floor creaks under your bare feet as you turn to lunge for the door. 

"Stop." 

At the sound of the command in his voice your whole body seizes up, limbs frozen midstep. You panic, wide eyes on his face and the cruel little smile he gives you. He makes no move towards you, leaning back against the counter instead as he folds his arms across his bare chest. 

"Did you forget?" He asks with genuine curiosity. "Did you forget the gift our bond gives me?

"No," you tell him quietly. 

You knew what an Alpha's command could do, but you’d never experienced it before. It wasn’t something done in polite society. It was the sort of thing you saw in terrible lifetime movies or heard about in history books.

"Come here," he says, his Alpha voice pulling you towards him like a magnet. Despite the resistance you feel in your mind your legs obey him smoothly. 

"Good girl," he praises, hand caressing your face as you stop before him. "I hate that you made me use my commands on you like that.” 

You can feel his genuine regret flow through your bond and it curdles your stomach. You turn away from him, tears stinging your eyes. He wipes them away when they fall before he tilts your face up to his so he can capture your lips in a tender kiss. You don’t resist when he pulls you towards him, the hand buried in your hair guiding you to rest your cheek against his chest. You feel him settle his chin on your head as his arms wrap around you tightly. Contentment trickles through the bond from him and it makes your body go lax against his. 

“You’re mine now. No more running,” he tells you. “I’ll always find you.”

\--

When the phone rings you jump.

"Just like we practiced," James soothes as he draws his fingers across the jagged bite mark on your neck. 

The metal feels cold against your skin and sends an unpleasant shiver through your body. When you hesitate to pick up the phone James squeezes your neck in warning. Your hands tremble as you swipe to answer the call, wincing at Julia's cheery greeting.

"Hey babe, need me to swing by with some post-heat pho?" She asks. 

"No, I'm-" you start, swallowing past the lump in your throat. "I'm okay. I actually have some news to share."

"Hmm," Julia asks, clearly distracted by whatever she’s doing on the other end of the phone. 

“I ran into James a few days ago.”

“Who?” she questions.

“The Alpha from Lisbon.”

“What?” she squawks. “Oh my god girl, did he see you through your heat? Is this why you didn't want that box of toys. Tell. Me. Everything!” She demands.

Tears burn in your eyes, bile rising in your throat as you think about just how James saw you through your heat. 

"Julia -" you start, opening your mouth to ask her for help but to your horror, no sound comes out. No matter how hard you try to speak or how your lips form the words nothing happens. Your vocal cords are paralyzed by James’s earlier command. You can only speak the truths he wants you to.

“Oh, wait. Is he there now?” She asks, taking your silence as a sign of your reluctance to divulge any details.

Beside you, James smiles. 

“Tell her yes,” he commands and your mouth opens, parroting the words to her. 

“Damn, keeping him around, huh? Well, don’t let me keep you from getting that knot," she says breezily.

"Tell her goodbye," James says.

"Goodbye, Julia," you whisper, a sob bubbling up from your throat as James takes the phone from your hands.

"Did so well," he soothes as your cries turn into desperate wails. “I know, it’s a lot,” he acknowledges as he pulls you into his lap and begins to purr. 

The vibrations calm your hindbrain, bleeding away your anger and fear to leave you docile and quiet in his arms.

“We’ll be happy together,” he promises you. “I know how much you wanted this. An Alpha to protect you and pups to care for you. Someone to let you be your true self.”

“Not like this,” you cry. “Never like this.”

“Shh,” he soothes, another purr rumbling in his chest when tension rises up inside you again. “You’ll learn to love it in time. I’ll help you,” he promises, his words filling you with an awful sort of dread that he’s quick to push back down.

“You love me. Tell me,” he commands. 

“I love you,” you whisper with a frown as you struggle to remember why you feel so distressed.

You’re safe here, protected and cared for. Your Alpha would never hurt you. 


End file.
